


Hold Still

by littlelotte



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Wedding, mentions of marx/charlotte, mentions of mikoto, reminiscent fic, there's a lot of fluff in this though too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-28
Updated: 2016-05-28
Packaged: 2018-07-10 20:06:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7004524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlelotte/pseuds/littlelotte
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Memories, Takumi decided, are worth getting lost in if they reflected on his time with Leo"</p>
<p>Takumi can't sleep. Set in their late twenties, he looks back on some of the most influential memories he has of Leo so far, both good and bad. To Takumi, there are very few things more powerful than memory.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hold Still

If there was anything Takumi trusted through and through, it was memory.

Sure, memories could become muddled; memories could wither away over time and give themselves over to imagination. Memories could change and rearrange themselves to become somebody’s own self-fulfilling prophecy - little white lies subconsciously created to convince the morally wrong that they’re in the right. Or, maybe, just to convince themselves that everything was going to turn out in their favor.

Oh, Takumi knew how powerful memory could be. Which, inevitably, was why he laid awake some nights, tossing and turning without rest, nearly waking Leo up several times in the process. Actually, he _did_ nearly wake him up about an hour ago, but they’d had such a long, exhausting day that he was fairly certain his spouse could’ve slept through a hurricane.

Sighing, Takumi rolled onto his side, his eyelids heavy as he focused his gaze on Leo’s sleeping face. It was soothing, really, to watch the rise and fall of the other man’s chest. It was patent proof that Leo was still alive, still breathing, and still _his_. It wasn’t that he necessarily needed constant reassurance that, yes, his partner of ten years was actually in love with him. It was par for the course at this point, but it was still nice to be reminded of the fact every now and again.

With steady hands, he reached forward and gently pushed a section of blond fringe out of his husband’s face, letting it fall behind his ear. Even now, at going on twenty-nine, Leo was still adorable in his own right. A grown man now, sure, but no less adorable than he was when they’d first met.

“It’s been a long time, huh…?” Takumi whispered, smiling despite himself.

It was then that a different kind of memory flooded through his mind. It planted itself deep within his skull and burst into color, burst into _sound._ It was as if he wasn’t a twenty-eight year old man anymore, but an eighteen year old boy falling in love for the first time all over again.

Memories, Takumi decided, were worth getting lost in of they reflected on his time Leo.

And so, he did.

* * *

 

Takumi remembered the day Leo asked to court him.

And, by default, he remembered the moment it happened. He’d been visiting Castle Krakenburg's library that day, solely by Leo’s request. The war had ended in peace treaty six months prior, which served to take down both the physical and cultural walls between Nohr and Hoshido, allowing free travel and civil conversation between the two kingdoms. It was strange at first, but welcome, and Takumi knew his siblings (as well as King Marx and his own) were ecstatic about the change.

What excited him the most, though, was that he was able to visit his friend pretty much whenever he wanted. Or, well, 'friend' may have been a loose term. To be honest, he was kind of maybe falling for Leo, which was just as exciting as it was terrifying.

“Prince Leo,” Takumi started, raising an eyebrow at his companion, who was currently busying himself flipping through Brynhildr’s pages. He seemed anxious over something, judging by the hesitation in his hands, and the slight, just barely noticeable stutter in his voice. “You’re being quieter than usual. Everything okay?”

That caught Leo’s attention. He looked up, his brows furrowed, then closed Brynhildr with a quick snap of his wrist. “Everything’s fine, Prince Takumi. Why do you ask? I would not have invited you over here had I been brooding over something.”

Well, that was an awful lie if he’d ever heard one. “Aren’t you always brooding over something?” Takumi snorted, before taking on a more serious tone. “No, but seriously - tell me what’s wrong. I think I know you well enough by now to figure out when something’s bothering you.”

It had taken him a little while, sure, but Takumi had successfully decoded Leo. He could try hiding his true feelings through a big vocabulary and arrogant mannerisms all he wanted, but Takumi knew better. If it was bad enough, Leo would give it away through body language. There was probably so much going on in that huge brain of his that it occasionally forgot to account for how his body reacted to stress.

Leo scoffed and looked away, his slender fingers drumming idly on Brynhildr’s embossed cover. “Even if - let’s just say - there _was_ something wrong, then I’d rather we discuss something else. I don’t intend to spend our short time together complaining, you know.”

Takumi squinted at that, then leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms over his chest. He took to studying Leo for a brief moment, noting the creases in his forehead, the tenseness in his shoulders, and the tightness of his jaw. Despite his efforts, it was all too obvious that Leo wasn’t okay. And it worried Takumi. Even around him, Leo was still hell bent on keeping everything bottled up, still more focused on how he looked rather than how he felt.

After a moment’s hesitation, he rose from his chair, dragged it over to the other side of the table, and pushed it right up next to Leo’s, earning an audible tongue click from the other. He was still avoiding eye contact, which only made Takumi want to move closer, to reach out and just barely touch his pretty hair. Anything to get Leo to look at him.

Gulping (and suddenly feeling insecure about how close they were), he willed himself to break the silence. “Y-You trust me, right?”

Nice. Real nice.

Leo met his gaze briefly, a look of bewilderment in his eyes, then let out this exasperated sigh that made Takumi want to shrivel up and shrink until his friend couldn’t see him anymore. “Look, Prince Takumi, I -”

“You don’t have to call me prince,” Takumi blurted out, his voice uncharacteristically quiet.

There was a long, pregnant pause before Leo gave a brisk nod and began speaking again. “Very well...Takumi. And you should already be well aware of the fact that I do trust you. But I’ll have you know, there’s nothing upsetting me right now. It’s simply a matter of -”

Takumi cut him off again. “Leo, _please_.”

He knew he was pushing it. He knew he was overstepping carefully laid out boundaries, he knew he was going somewhere he shouldn’t. But this was Leo. This was the boy he met in the middle of the battlefield, the boy who fought by his side while taking on Anankos. The boy who, in the face of their greatest adversary, put a firm, but gentle hand on his trembling shoulder and told him everything was going to be okay. This was the kid Takumi had chosen to love, and he wasn’t about to let him slip through his weak, perpetually hesitant fingers like everybody else.

Biting his lip, he searched Leo’s features again, ultimately deciding there was no turning back now. “Leo, I don’t want you to think you can’t tell me things. I know I’m...I know I’m not the best person for this kind of thing. No, scratch that, I’m probably the worst - but you’re my friend, Leo. And I know I can be a jerk sometimes, but I don’t turn my back on my friends, okay?”

“You’re not the worst,” came Leo’s reply. He was running his fingertips up and down the design on Brynhildr’s cover, refusing to look up again.

Takumi stayed silent, squeezing his eyes shut in a desperate attempt to fight back the all-too-familiar burning sensation he’d known since childhood. _Don’t cry, dammit. Not here. Don’t cry_.

“But,” Leo started again, his voice wavering slightly, “The reason I invited you here today, and, I suppose, the reason I am apparently acting so....troubled, is because there is something I’ve been meaning to ask you.”

Takumi blinked, his brows furrowing in confusion. His eyes weren’t burning anymore, but he was fairly certain his heart had skipped a beat just then. “Something...like what?”

“Something like what,” Leo echoed, finally turning to look at him again. It may have been the dull lightning in the library, or possibly just his imagination, but it looked as if Leo was blushing. “Well, it’s...it’s something that may come off as a bit unconventional, but if you would be alright with hearing it…”

“When have you known me to care about conventional?”

Leo smiled at that. “Right, well, in that case…” He trailed off, his hand leaving the safety of Brynhildr to come down and tentatively grasp Takumi’s own. This time, Takumi was sure his heart actually did skip a beat. Or several. Who knows, he sure as hell wasn’t counting.“We’ve known each other a long time now. And, if I am being honest with myself, the time we’ve spent together is worth every battle, every mishap, and every failed soup recipe.”

He couldn’t help giving a small laugh at that, and Leo joined in for a moment, clearing his throat again once he was finished. “Humor set aside - I know it would be considered unconventional by many, and I know it may be difficult to achieve at certain points, considering our distance from each other, but, Takumi, I…” He paused again, only to begin rubbing slow, gentle circles on the topside of Takumi’s hand. “I think I’d like to try courting you, if you would have me.”

Takumi's breath hitched, his head spinning. If he’d heard right, Leo, the second prince of Nohr and the boy he may or may not have been hopelessly in love with, just asked to court him. _Court him_ – like one of those storybook fantasies he'd had always blown off as being cheesy and unrealistic. Not because they were impossible, but because he’d convinced himself over the years that nothing that exciting would ever happen to him. Yet here he was, being confessed to by an awkward, but sweet noble he just so happened to have most things in common with.

It was funny how things turned out that way.

Staring dumbly at a now incredibly flustered (and incredibly handsome) Leo, Takumi could only nod. “L-Leo, are sure about what you’re saying right now? I mean…you’re not messing with me, right? N-Not that you would! I just..it’s hard for me to…and you’re so – ” He cut himself off with a sigh, deciding instead to focus on the soothing feeling of wringing his hands. It was kind of impressive, honestly. All he had to do was say yes, and he still somehow managed to mess that up.

Just when he was about to apologize and excuse himself, Leo gently pulled his already sore hands apart (to stop the wringing, probably,) and asked him to look up.

“I’m so what?” he began, his voice softer than usual, his expression stern. “First of all, I would never court somebody to humor myself. And with you? Honesty comes easily,” Leo told him, his lips pursed as if he was trying to figure out what to say next. “You shouldn’t be so quick to doubt yourself, Takumi. To be frank, you don’t have as many flaws as you think. It’s the opposite, actually.”

Takumi nodded slowly, blinking back tears as he trained his gaze on the novel across the table from them. He’d been skimming through it earlier that afternoon, but for some odd reason, he couldn’t remember a single damn thing it was about. “Leo, I’m sorry – it’s just that I know I mess things up sometimes, okay? But you’re so…you’re so _perfect_ , and even though I really want to – to be with you, I mean…what if I mess that up, too? What if I only make things more difficult for you? What then?”

He had no clue where any of this was coming from. Half an hour ago, he’d been content to spend the rest of their afternoon together, reading quietly with little spurts of conversation every now and again. But now? He was a shaking, unintelligible mess, pouring his heart out all over the Krackenburg library floor.

“Takumi,” Leo said quietly, his tone laden with concern, “I’ll have you know that I am far from perfect. But isn’t everybody? Perfection is an unattainable quality. Something that can never be achieved by humans such as ourselves,” he explained, giving Takumi’s hands a light squeeze. “So why continue to beat yourself up for it? You and I have both made our fair share of mistakes.”

Leo paused as if to gather his thoughts, then cleared his throat. “Stop being so hard on yourself, Takumi. People aren’t perfect, therefore relationships aren’t either. And besides, we’ve worked through our problems with each other before, so why not now? I sincerely doubt you’ll mess this up, so try being a bit kinder to yourself, please? For me?”

Takumi didn’t say anything for a while. His thoughts were too jumbled, too disorganized to form coherent sentences at the moment. If anything, he knew Leo had a point. People weren’t perfect, and as much as he wanted to be, there was no practical way to get there. Hearing it from Leo, the gilded prince of Nohr, was both soothing and humbling in its own right.

Biting his lip, he finally, _finally_ willed himself to face Leo again. His forehead was creased with worry, his shoulders were sagging and his lips were drawn back into a tight frown. Nodding slowly, he blinked away any lingering tears, and offered his friend a small, sheepish smile. “You better start practicing what you preach, got that?” He murmured, giving Leo’s hands a squeeze in return. “But...even if we’re all doomed to make mistakes, I wouldn’t mind working through them with you, if that’s alright, I mean.”

Leo blinked. “Takumi I just asked to court you and you’re asking me if it’s okay to say yes?”

“W-Well, ugh, yes! Gods, Leo, I’m saying yes!” Takumi sputtered, his face burning. Sure, that sounded a bit...silly, now that he thought about it, but he didn’t care. This wasn’t a dream. Leo had legitimately asked to court him, and he said _yes._

Leo gave him this sweet, shy smile that nearly made him melt, then took on a more serious expression. “Can I ask one more thing?”

Takumi didn’t skip a beat. “Shoot.”

It was Leo’s turn to stutter. “M-May I kiss you?”

For a split second, he was certain his heart stopped. If he’d heard right, Leo, his friend-turned-lover, was asking to kiss him. Actually kiss him. The very thought of it made his head spin, his hands weak, and his knees buckle. “Y-Yeah. If th-that’s what you want.”

Smooth.

Leo nodded tersely, visibly flustered, then leaned in. He hovered above Takumi’s lips for a moment before tilting his head and leaving a small, chaste kiss on Takumi’s cheek. It was hesitant, but no less sweet, and he found himself relieved by the notion that they’d be taking things slow.

“Was...that okay?” Leo asked, blushing and nearly tripping over each and every one of his carefully picked words.

“Huh, and you say I worry too much,” Takumi said, suppressing a snort, “It was fine, Leo.”

Leo rolled his eyes playfully, but nodded again, much more relaxed this time. “So are we okay?”

Tossing his inhibitions off to the side, Takumi let his forehead come to rest on Leo’s shoulder. “Yeah. We’re okay.”

And, if memory would have it, they spent the rest of the afternoon holding hands and enjoying each other’s company.

* * *

 

Takumi also remembered the first time he heard Leo really laugh. And not one of his little chuckles or derisive snorts, either. No, this time, he got Leo to _laugh._

He’d been visiting Castle Krakenburg again, only a couple months or so after they’d started courting. They hadn’t told anyone yet, and wouldn’t be for quite a while, so they needed to be a bit more...strategic about where they spent time together. Fortunately, the castle had several courtyards - some more well kept than others, but for privacy purposes, they found themselves in one that was slightly more bizarre than the rest.

It was located deep in the eastern section of the castle, reserved mostly for guest rooms, old galleries, and, come to find out, a secluded courtyard. It was so well-hidden that he had never seen it before, despite the fact that he and his family had slept in the rooms down the hall from it on one of their earlier visits.

“So...this is a courtyard?” Takumi asked, brows furrowing.

“Yes, and my personal favorite, to be exact,” Leo hummed, motioning for Takumi to follow him off the veranda and further into the courtyard itself. From the doorway, there was a beaten, cobblestone path that snaked around large holly bushes, hydrangea, and other odd vegetation Takumi had never seen before. Most of the bushes were so overgrown that they easily towered over both of them, threatening to block out what little direct sunlight Windmire could get.

Both the veranda and the doorway had disappeared only a moment or so after they started walking. On any other occasion it would have bothered Takumi, but there was something about this place (as weird as it seemed) that Leo really loved, and it sparked a foreign sense of curiosity in him that he hadn’t felt in a long, long time.

He was about to speak up again when Leo took a sharp turn and lead him into a clearing.

“Do you understand why I like coming here now?” Leo asked, his voice low and quiet with awe.

Takumi could only nod, wonder-struck. “It’s...Gods, Leo - this is _incredible_.”

The clearing opened up to a large rowan tree, surrounded by four stone benches and three partially deteriorated statues, all facing away from the tree. The tree itself slightly hunched over the closest bench, giving Takumi the immediate impression of some sort of guardian. A protector of that bench, maybe; and by default, whoever sat on it.

Before he was finished gawking at what was possibly one of the only beautiful gardens left in Nohr, Leo settled down on the bench the tree was leaning towards, crossing his legs and smirking.“So I take it you’re impressed.”

Takumi squinted at that. “You did this, didn’t you? With that tome of yours? To be honest, I didn’t know there was this much green in all of Nohr.” And it was the truth, too. Nohr was infamous for its low crop yields, lack of natural sunlight and shoddy weather, which were part of the reason why it ever invaded Hoshido in the first place. Well, that and the fact that King Garon was completely out of his mind, but that was another story for another time.

Leo shrugged, biting his lip. “I used to use this place to train when I was younger. If I wasn’t happy with my performance during class, I’d sneak out here at night to practice until I was sure I had it right,” he confessed, smiling despite himself, “Although some of it - like this tree here - is a bit more recent than those overgrown shrubs you saw scattered along the path.”

Takumi blinked. “So you can really grow any type of plant with that thing?”

Apparently, Leo thought that was pretty funny, because he let out this light, airy chuckle that made Takumi’s heart skip a beat. “Well, not exactly. Brynhildr has hundreds of different spells depending on what you’re looking for, but I here I mostly used it to accelerate the growth periods of pre-existing vegetation.”

The more he listened to Leo talk, the harder it became to hide that stupid, love-struck grin he’d probably been caught making fifty times by now. He couldn’t help it. The idea alone of Leo taking time out of his day to tend to his small, private garden was adorable (and oddly befitting of him, now that he thought about it.)

“So you don’t care if I look around a little more, then?” Takumi asked, raising an eyebrow, the remnants of a smile still evident on his features.

Leo rose from his seat and made his way over, his warm, calloused hands gently gripping Takumi’s shoulders. “Not at all, actually; I was kind of hoping you’d ask.” It was a sweet gesture, one he was beginning to grow accustomed to. To counteract, he took Leo’s hand in his own, lacing their fingers together as they made their way around the base of the tree, stopping only when they ended up face-to-face with the fourth statue and final statue in the garden.

Takumi balked, his jaw dropping in abject horror. “G-Gods, Leo, what the hell _is_ that thing?!

Whatever _it_ was, it was hideous. It looked human, well, vaguely, with its small, beady eyes, its pointy, witch-like nose and its large, disproportionate face. Its misshapen mouth was pulled back into a tight, unflattering scowl that immediately reminded him of some jowly dog. To make matters worse, it bore resemblance to King Garon, only ten times uglier, which was something Takumi considered impossible up until now.

“Oh, him? It’s a statue of King Ullr, my great, great grandfather. Legend has it he always made a sour face, sort of like this one, and it got to the point where the people were convinced his face was frozen like that,” Leo told him, frowning slightly, “He wasn’t all too good-looking either, which may have contributed to his sour mood now that I think about it.”

Takumi drew a blank, his mouth opening and closing several times before clamping shut altogether. When they’d first arrived, he hadn’t even seen Ullr’s statue. It was situated behind the rowan tree (which, honestly, was probably for a reason), and it looked as if it hadn’t seen the light of day in two hundred years.

He stared at the statue, up at Leo, then back at the statue again. He didn’t want to offend him, so logically he’d have to pay this guy some kind of compliment, right? How hard could it be?

“Well maybe he had a good personality."

He was half expecting Leo to scowl, click his tongue, or possibly even walk away. Instead, he let out this loud peal of laughter that bounced off the walls and made Takumi’s head spin. “Wait, that seriously made you laugh?”

Leo gave his best effort to nod. “That was just...that was something only _you_ would say,” he said between gasps, one hand clutching at his stomach while the other came up to cover his mouth.

“W-What’s that supposed to mean?!”

“It’s not a bad thing,” Leo grinned, using his thumb to wipe the tears from his eyes, “You’re just funny without realizing it.”

Takumi considered that for a moment, his cheeks flushed, his eyes darting off to the side somewhere. Admittedly, Leo’s laugh was incredibly cute. He’d heard him snicker, and even chuckle before - but nothing like this. This was _new_. This was fascinating. Something he desperately wanted to hear more of.

Failing to hide a grin of his own, Takumi took a step closer, crossing his arms over his chest and raising an eyebrow. “You do realize I know how to make you laugh now, right?” He teased, suppressing a snort.

“I think I can live with that,” Leo said while pulling him into a loose embrace, “But I have to thank you, Takumi. Come to think of it, it’s been a while since I last laughed like that.”

He blinked, flustered and adjusting to the feeling of Leo’s arms around his waist. “I didn’t actually mean to say anything funny, though. It... kind of just happened.”

He felt Leo shake his head. “I hardly think that matters. You've got a natural sense of humor, and that isn't a bad quality to have, you know."

Takumi could only nod, close his eyes and relax into his lover’s embrace. The idea that he could make Leo laugh was genuinely soothing, and it was something he’d keep in mind for whenever he needed to get his stubborn, indomitable prince to actually enjoy himself every once in awhile.

* * *

 

He remembered the time he taught (or, well, tried to teach) Leo archery. It wasn’t that Leo was particularly bad at it, per se; he was actually fairly decent. It was just clear that his fighting style was far better suited for sorcery than he was for basically anything else.

“Don’t pull back that far,” Takumi criticized, gently gripping Leo’s shoulder, “Keep your feet planted firmly on the ground, turn your body sideways, extend your left hand out and pull back with your right. You only have pull the bow back to around the corner of your mouth. Any further and you’ll put unnecessary strain on it. Just take aim, remember to breathe, and release.”

“Seems simple enough,” Leo mused, the confidence evident in his smile.

Takumi shot his partner a pointed look, before pulling away and taking a few cautionary steps back, his arms crossed over his chest indignantly. “If you say so.”

Maybe Leo figured he knew well enough about aim and trajectory through his experience with tomes. Maybe he realized he could draw his arrow with ease, leading him to believe striking the target would be just as, if not more straightforward. Or, maybe he was just letting his arrogance get the better of him this go around, because his arrow wobbled mid-air, striking the very edge of the target, dangling slightly and seemingly about to fall.

Leo balked, visibly embarrassed, then lowered his bow. “Oh, er, that was…” He trailed off for a beat, his brows furrowing, his forehead creasing in confusion. “Bad.”

Takumi shrugged, tilting his head to the side. “It’s not... _horrible_. You hit the target, so that’s something.”

“It...looks like it might fall,” Leo said, grimacing as if he were a seasoned professional making rookie mistakes, rather than a rookie making rookie mistakes. Takumi knew from experience how much of a perfectionist Leo was - how they _both_ were. Just the thought of it made his chest tighten, his expression falter.

“It might,” Takumi started, testing the waters, “But trust me on this one - I’ve seen way worse.” It was the truth, too. The first time he fired an arrow downrange it flew passed the target, missed it by half a meter and landed in a thorn bush. Needless to say, it wasn’t his finest moment.

Leo raised an eyebrow. “How so?”

“Let’s just say I wasn’t always sniper material,” Takumi admitted, stepping forward and gripping Leo’s shoulders again, this time to guide him. Slowly, he had him draw a second arrow, his right hand on Leo’s back, his left gently holding Leo’s extended arm, keeping it steady. They were so close that Takumi soon felt the heat rising to his cheeks, causing him to stumble over his instructions as well as his own two feet after shifting to allow Leo ample room to shoot.

“J-Just keep steady, remember to breathe, and never take your eyes off the target,” he murmured, just loud enough for the other to hear.

There was a short, anticipatory pause before Leo let his second arrow fly down range. It struck the target with a loud thwack, just a few centimeters above the bull's-eye, straight as a pin.

“Well, at the very least it doesn’t look like it’s about to fall,” Leo said, scanning his work as if he were collecting some sort of numerical data from it.

Takumi gave a soft sigh, then smiled, moving to lightly pat his lover’s bicep. “At the very least, it was a good shot.”

Leo pursed his lips, shrugging. “Only because you helped me. Clearly, I’ve misjudged archery as a whole, which is, admittedly, a product of my own arrogance.” He set the bow off to the side, still looking somewhat dejected. “Forgive me, Takumi. I acted out of hubris, which is no way for a prince or romantic partner to behave.”

Takumi frowned at that, then shook his head, gripping Leo’s arm to keep him from turning away. “Would you quit being so hard on yourself already? You’re always telling me that, so why do it to yourself? I mean - gods, you could’ve sent the arrow through a window and I wouldn’t have blamed you for it. It’s not like I was any better when I first started out.” He’d never been all too great at the whole “advice” thing, but Leo deserved a hell of a lot more from him than broken phrases and awkward apologies. “And, hey, archery is just one of those things that looks easier than it actually is. I know for a fact I made the same mistakes when I was a kid, too.”

Leo was quiet for a moment, and Takumi could almost see the gears turning in that big brain of his. He couldn’t help letting his mind wander to thoughts of how pretty Leo looked in loose-fitting Hoshidan garb, how curves of his collarbones disappeared into cornflower blue fabric. He was definitely beautiful in every sense of the word, and it was times like this when Takumi wondered just what the hell a boy like this was doing with somebody like _him_.

His increasingly disjointed thoughts were interrupted by the presence of Leo’s lips on his own; slow, sweet, and unmistakably loving.

“W-Wait, what was that for?” It wasn’t like he and Leo had never kissed before, he just wasn’t expecting it. But then again, they both had their own separate ways of flustering each other, and Leo’s just so happened to be unexpected kisses at inopportune times.

Leo leaned in again, gently pressing their foreheads together. “It’s because...you’re you.”

Takumi gawked at him, wide-eyed and red-faced. “Y-You...you’re being serious?”

“When have you known me to lie?” Leo murmured, a warm smile tugging a his lips.

Though still thoroughly embarrassed, Takumi nodded, forcing himself to maintain eye contact. “You have a point there, b-but I swear I’ll get you back for that later!”

“For a kiss?” Leo laughed, visibly flushed. It was beyond relieving to know the lingering shyness between them wasn’t one-sided.

“Yeah,” Takumi huffed, “So you better watch it."

“Duly-noted,” Leo said in return, closing the gap between them a second time.

* * *

 

As a principle, Takumi remembered the day they visited Mikoto’s grave. It was one of those bleak, mid-autumn days that was just chilly enough to be uncomfortable, but not unbearable. Normally, the fall weather in Hoshido was far more mild, especially around the time of his mother’s birthday, which was almost always greeted by the warm light of the sun. But today was different. Today, the clouds hung low, threatening to spill over at any given moment, as if they, too, were in a state or mourning.

In her will, she asked to be buried in one of Castle Shirasagi’s many gardens. Ryoma had chosen a spot for her beneath a cherry tree in their family's common burial grounds. He then called for a wide array of flowers to be planted around it, which had since come into full bloom, encircling her headstone in breathtaking bursts of color.

But beautiful as they were, Takumi still found them difficult to look at.

“She...She really liked flowers,” he murmured, kneeling down and gesturing for Leo to do the same. “Daffodils, especially. She liked those, and, uh, well most flowers actually. She wanted to be buried near them, because she really liked them and...I already said that, didn’t I?"

He could feel Leo’s eyes on him, and through his peripheral vision he could see the tight, concerned frown tugging the other man’s lips. It wasn’t like his presence was unwelcome here; Takumi had decided himself that it was time for his fiancé to finally meet his mother.

“She sounds like an incredible woman,” Leo reassured him, his tone noticeably gentler than usual. He was kneeling beside Takumi with a solemn expression on his face, his hands folded neatly in his lap, clearly making an effort to show his respect. “Actually, I...only of wish I was given the chance to meet her before, well…” He cut himself off around there, cleared his throat and fell silent.

Takumi nodded once, inhaling sharply. “She would have liked you, Leo - she liked good people, Nohrian or Hoshidan. That kind of just thing didn’t matter to her,” he told him, unable to tear his eyes off the grave, “E-Even when we thought she was crazy for it, it didn’t matter. She was always willing to give people second chances. Always seeking out every shred of good she could find in people. Always ready to forgive.”

Leo said nothing, but after a long pause Takumi felt a steady hand beginning to rub circles on his back. Maybe he had nothing to say, or...no, that wasn’t right. He probably had a lot to say, just no way to say it. He probably had this whole intricate speech working itself out inside his head, ready to be delivered but lacking the confidence to do so. And whether it was because he never had loving parents of his own, or because he wasn’t used to this type of thing, Leo was at a complete loss for words.

But Takumi would never blame him for it.

“And even if she wasn’t my real mother, she acted like it. L-Like we were a real family, and it got to the point where I started to forget…” He could hardly finish a single sentence without tripping over his words, and the stinging sensation in his eyes was getting worse by the second. “Sh-She wanted peace. She saw the g-good in the world that I couldn’t. That _most_ people couldn’t. And I…” He cursed, then covered his mouth and squeezed his eyes shut to keep himself from crying. He promised himself he’d put on a brave face for her. He couldn’t bear the thought of letting her down, even in spirit. “I-I should have been able to s-save her.”

It was only then that the hand on Takumi’s back stopped moving. Before he even found the courage to face its owner, it gripped his shoulder and pulled him into a tight embrace. Leo’s embrace. He wasted no time running his fingers through Takumi’s hair, which was something that had proven time and time again to have a therapeutic effect.

“It’s okay to cry, you know.”

Takumi shook his head, his trembling hands fumbling for the fabric of Leo’s shirt. “N-No it’s not. I promised myself…! I pr-promised myself I-”

Leo cut him off. “Whether you promised it or not, it’s unreasonable to believe you can shake loss so easily. You’re pushing yourself to do the impossible, do you understand? She was your mother, Takumi. There is nothing wrong with crying for her.”

He hadn’t expected to cry. Not like this, anyway. He expected small bouts of it, especially once he was alone again, but nothing like the raw, shaky sobs that wracked his frame currently. This was supposed to be about closure; a solid way to say goodbye to his mother once and for all. But he wasn’t ready to let go. Even now, after more than three years had gone by, he wasn’t able to come to terms with the fact that she was really, truly gone.

“I-I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize.”

“I d-didn’t mean to ruin this.”

“You haven’t.”

“H-How can you say that?”

“Because you’re allowed to cry, Takumi. You’re allowed to scream if you have to. There’s no sense in keeping all of this bottled up any longer.” Leo said, his chin coming to rest atop Takumi’s head. “I can’t stand listening to you tear yourself apart.”

Takumi managed a nod, wincing at the pain in Leo’s voice. The tears hadn’t stopped, and he knew they wouldn’t for a while.

“Sh-She would have liked you,” he whispered, sniffling.

“And I, her,” came Leo’s reply, pained and clipped.

For a while, neither of them said anything. Save for Takumi’s hiccups and sniffles, nothing broke the silence between them. After what seemed like an eternity, Leo sighed, his fingers moving idly through Takumi’s hair again. “I think she would be proud of who you are now.”

He considered that for a moment, biting his cheek, then buried his face into the crook of Leo’s neck. He still wasn't ready to move on, and he definitely wasn't ready to stop crying just yet, but the thought of his mother taking pride in him brought a small, watery smile to his lips.

It made him realize that someday he'll finally be able to mean it when he says he's okay. 

* * *

 

And of course, Takumi remembered the wedding. It was a private affair held in Castle Shirasagi’s main gathering hall, open only to their closest friends and family members. Neither of them were particularly social people, so they figured something small and low-profile would make the most sense. Sure, weddings between royalty tended to be huge, highly-anticipated bashes with guests from every end of the continent, but that wasn’t exactly what they had in mind.

“You ready for tonight?” Hinoka asked, giving Takumi a once over.

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” he murmured, adjusting the sleeves on his robe.

With a lighthearted sigh, Hinoka patted Takumi’s back. “Huh. It’s kind of funny, actually. When you first met that kid? You swore up and down you wanted nothing to do with him,” she said with a snort, “Now it’s really starting to look like we’ll never get you two apart.”

If it wasn’t for the fact that he felt like he was going to pass out at any given moment, he would have been more receptive to that. “You... you like him, right? I’ve heard what people have been saying about him. You’re not just saying you do to make me feel better, right?”

Hinoka didn’t skip a beat. “Takumi, I’m gonna be honest with you here, okay?”

He gulped. “Go right ahead.”

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard you say.”

“What?!”

She gave a quick laugh. “All I’m saying is that if we didn’t like him, we would have told you. There’s no way we’d let you marry some hell raising jerk.”

Takumi squinted at her, but quickly relented. Despite his sister’s efforts, he could still feel the anxiety eating away at his nerves, threatening to suffocate him if given half the chance. He was sweating, shivering and essentially unable to form coherent sentences. Perfect wedding day material, obviously.

Apparently, he wasn’t doing a very good job of hiding his stress because Hinoka swung an arm around him, smiling incredulously. “Oh c’mon. Don’t tell me you’re getting cold feet when lover boy’s already out there waiting for you.”

Takumi balked. “Th-That’s not! I’m just-!”

She cut him off. “Listen, you’ll be fine. You’ve got your whole family and then some backing you right now. And if you mess up? It’ll be something you can look back on in twenty years and laugh about.”

He gave it some consideration, then shrugged, taking one last look into the mirror. He was dressed in traditional Hoshidan marriage robes, similar to what his brother wore on his wedding day a few years back, and his hair was down. He’d requested it to be left down. Leo always loved it when Takumi wore his hair down.

“You’re probably right,” he sighed, his worried frown giving way to a smile. “Something to remember...”

“Oh, I know I am,” Hinoka quipped, “Now let’s go. If we keep your boy waiting any longer, he’ll start growing mold.”

With one quick motion, she pushed through the event hall’s heavy, sliding doors, then linked their arms together with this giddy look on her face that almost reminded him of Elise.

His walk to the altar was surreal. His friends and family were all smiling at him, except for Hinata who got up and started whooping and cheering for the “best lord ever” until Oboro all but yanked him back down into his seat. She gave Takumi an apologetic look, but the brief interaction was so ridiculous that both he and Hinoka started to laugh.

Once they reached the altar, Hinoka gave his hand a light squeeze. “And hey, just so you know, Mom and Dad would be really proud of you right now,” she told him, her own sense of pride welling up in her smile. “Now go get him."

With one light push, he was up on the altar, face-to-face with his quite frankly breathtaking fiancé (who looked _incredible_ in Hoshidan marriage robes, by the way), tongue-tied and twisted like he was some little kid figuring out he had a crush for the first time.

“You look beautiful,” Leo breathed, just barely above a whisper.

“Y-You too,” Takumi stammered, his cheeks red as all hell.

Leo grinned. “Can you believe all of this? It almost feels like a dream.”

“Don’t say that. This is real. This is really happening.” At this point, he wasn’t confident Leo was the one needing the reassuring anymore.

Before either of them could say anything else, Yukimura stepped up and hushed the crowd, beginning the ceremony with a brief speech on the sacrament of marriage in Hoshido.

What happened next was kind of a blur. The ceremony was surprisingly short, and they got to the vows far quicker than Takumi was mentally prepared for. He managed to say his own without stuttering too much, but he nearly cried when Leo reciprocated. To be honest, he never thought he’d have something like this. For the majority of his life, he was thoroughly convinced he was nothing short of unlovable, and that his marriage would be a strictly political one. But this? This was something entirely different. He wasn’t marrying a Nohrian Prince to fill the requirements of some half-baked peace treaty; he was marrying one because he loved him. Because they loved _each other_.

“I do,” Leo cut in, bringing Takumi back to reality with one fell swoop.

“And do you, Prince Takumi of Hoshido, take Prince Leo of Nohr as your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold, through sickness and in health, through good times and bad?”

His heart was beating so hard and so fast he was starting to worry it might give out on him at any given moment. Two words. Two tiny, everyday words and he would be married to Leo, who was looking at him like nobody else had.

He confirmed it with a smile big enough to match his lover’s. “I do.”

Yukimura paused for a moment, then nodded astutely. “You may now kiss.”

Before the words could even register in Takumi’s mind, Leo leaned in and did just that. He kissed Takumi, and Takumi kissed back, only to pull away a few short seconds, still smiling, still just as awestruck as he was the first time it happened. 

“Oh wow,” Takumi whispered, as his thoughts became muffled by the sounds of clapping and cheering.

Leo nodded slowly, turning to face the crowd. “Wow indeed.”

Afterwards, there were speeches, food and dancing. Both Marx and Ryoma gave separate spiels detailing how proud they were of their younger brothers, although Marx began tearing up halfway through his and his wife, Charlotte, had to come on stage for emotional support. When the dancing started, Odin and Elise challenged several people to dance-offs, which lasted for a good hour, until the upbeat parlor music shifted into something slower.

“May I have this dance?” Leo said with a smirk, taking Takumi’s hand.

Takumi feigned disgust. “Gods, no. What makes you think I’d want to dance with the likes of you?”

“Oh, I don’t know. You only married me, if that counts for anything.”

“Fair enough.”

Chuckling softly, Leo pulled him close, pressing a slow kiss to his temple in the process. “This has been amazing… _You’re_ amazing, and I love you.”

Takumi blushed. Twenty-four years old, and Leo could still turn him into a stuttering, blushing mess. “Me too - I mean you. I love you too.”

When the music picked up, so did their dancing. Takumi wasn’t particularly any good, and it showed whenever he accidentally stumbled over his own two feet. The probably looked silly, and he knew for a fact people were starting to stare.

But he didn’t mind it one bit.

* * *

 

“Hmm Takumi,” Leo yawned, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “How long have you been awake?”

The sound of his husband’s voice was what finally snapped him out of it. Blinking several times, he looked down, almost surprised to see Leo staring up at him with an odd mixture of fascination and bewilderment in his eyes. “Long enough.”

Leo frowned at that. “It can’t be any later than five in the morning, and we don’t have anywhere in particular to be today. Were you having trouble sleeping again? You know you can always wake me if need be.”

Takumi shook his head. “There’s nothing to worry about. I was just thinking, that’s all.”

“Oh? About what?”

“...You.”

Leo raised an eyebrow, smirking, then grabbed Takumi by the arms and pulled him down so that he was hovering over him. “Now what _exactly_ were you thinking about?”

Takumi wasn’t sure whether he should flick Leo’s nose or kiss him. Instead, he resolved to glare down at him. “Our wedding. The time you asked me to court you. Things like that.”

Leo cleared his throat, embarrassed. “Oh. So good things then.”

“Mostly, yeah,” Takumi said, distracted.

There was a slight pause before Takumi decided to speak up again. “Hey.”

“Hey.”

"Can I tell you something?”

“You don’t have to ask.”

“Okay then,” Takumi murmured, shifting slightly to get more comfortable. “I should probably say this more often, because I think about it a lot, but you’re amazing, Leo. You’re an amazing person and I love you.”

Well that definitely did something. Leo blushed, averting his gaze and sighing. It made Takumi’s heart flutter. “Y-You are too, you know. Amazing, I mean. And I love you, too.”

Takumi could hardly help grinning at that. It was sort of funny, really. Going on thirty and they could still manage to fluster each other similar to the way they did when they were kids.

Still hovering over Leo, he leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. “Oh, and there’s something I need to ask you.”

Leo nodded once. “Anything.”

“Hold still for a second.”

“And why’s that?”

Takumi bit his lip to keep from giggling, taking in the sight of his slightly confused, but no less adoring husband. “I want to remember this.”

And even in the dim light brought in through the windows, Takumi could tell Leo was smiling. 

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Birthday Maya!! You're the best and I hope you enjoyed this!! I love these types of fics, and it was awesome to write one especially about two of my favorite characters in fates!


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